Hiatus

Gonna leave the blogging world for now. I've decided it's more prudent, personal, and posterity-friendly to actually write in a journal.

Happy 2013!

What happens when the American Dream fails you?

My father probably never studied much for anything in his life.With photographic memory and a penchant to just get it, I guess he never had to.

He holds a degree in Civil Engineering from the Mapua Institute of Technology, what he calls the MIT of the Philippines. I swear it's not just him; it's widely regarded as the best engineering institution in the country.

As is the trend with Pilipinos, his degree didn't really translate when we moved to the US. He parked cars for minimum wage at the Marriott in Downtown Los Angeles. What he would receive in tips my mother used to put food on the table every day. From Anaheim, he would catch three buses to get to LA. On late nights, if he missed the last bus to take him from the Fullerton Park and Ride to Lincoln Avenue, he would walk.

After the parking stint got tiring, he started working at Commerce Casino. He started off as a chips runner, then worked his way up to be floorman at the casino's top section. His job required 8 hours of continuous standing and walking around, sometimes fighting with patrons who've had a little too much to drink but hadn't raked in enough winnings. Celebrities roamed that floor constantly, and he would share to his awestruck children who among Jerry Buss, Manny Pacquiao, and Bruno Mars would tip the least. That job, too, paid minimum wage, and when the economic crisis hit, people stopped giving out tips and going to casinos in general.

One fateful night, his fraternity brothers from Mapua came to Commerce Casino to look for him. These men, unlike my father, had struck it big in the Philippines (mostly, I assume, by sticking to elected officials). They offered construction projects for my father back home - enough, really, for him to quit his miserable job altogether.

He's there now, trying to start anew. From scratch. From nothing. Nothing really came out of his American Dream. All this bullshit that if you try hard enough you'll get to where you wanna be. It doesn't really exist.

Quick Write

I'm working on my personal statement for JET, and I've been sitting in this coffee shop for about an hour.

Things I've done:

• almost register to vote (I gave up halfway through because that site started selling me car insurance...)
• helped Jann figure out how, and that he had to, pay for his loans starting next month
• listen to and pass judgement at the most recent song leaked from Arashi's upcoming album
• sip my iced green tea latte noncommittally
• continuously stop myself from walking over to the restaurant next door to get some curry.

Notice how every single thing listed above is unrelated to JET.

It's common for me to sit on papers for a ridiculously long time. As a student, it would usually take me an hour to formulate a single paragraph. It's not that I find writing to be hard; it's just that there are so many distractions in my head. It's so difficult to filter the important things when I have so much fluff up there.

Also, I have to admit. This is a very intimidating essay to write. 

Why the hell is that, Bianca, you may ask. Good question. (Here's where you may quote Stephen Colbert and say, "Thank you.") There's a lot at stake here. Ten years of dreams, to be exact. 

I've been wanting this so bad that I've forgotten why I wanted to live and work in Japan in the first place. Let's look over some potential reasons:

• anime? Nope. I stopped watching anime when I turned 14. Coincidentally, that's when I moved to the US. Do I think that Tagalog dubs are superior over English ones? Why, yes, I think I do.
• manga? Negative. I've never read a single book. Don't all gasp at once now.
• pretty boys? Yes, but I don't think that would make for a good personal statement. Actually, it could...but I don't know how it would be received at the US Embassy...

I think it's pretty clear, especially to me, that JET and I are an OTP. 

JET is the perfect program for me, and I am the perfect candidate for JET because I am what JET purports itself to be looking for - a youthful energy dedicated to education and eager to learn about Japanese language and culture. 

Basically, if you put education and Japan together, you'd produce a picture of myself wearing a kimono (With glasses. Because teachers wear glasses.) and waving an Arashi concert penlight. If your picture has sound, you would hear me going through a list of Japanese vocabulary words with a perfect accent. And yeah, I would probably be very annoying.

(How do I end this entry?) Lol k bye.